a sweeet little story about happiness and comfort
i have this deep seeded volcano of hatred building up inside that is trying to burst to the top. maybe its just valintines day, maybe i am growing a real honest to god boiling, swirling, churning, thickining caldron of bitter hate and disgust for my situation. maybe for my ex. maybe for ..... maybe i just need.... need i dont need anything. i have. almost enough money to do what ever i want. almost enough time with my kids. almost enough time at work to kill a person. almost... i have been trying to look on the bright side of things and to tell the truth i just dont see it. i cant stand to feel this way i hate it. i dont have such a bad life i just dont seem to have what im after. i have the most precious thing in the world with my kids. but , here we go, man cannot live by bread alone. this attitude isint going to get me anywhere, i know this. i just dont see how to get around it. this is the state of mind that changes ppl. this feeling of betrayal, anger, OOH GREAT. snot in the keyboard. that really ups the resale value.what do u frickin' know, of all things that made me feel better. being a respiratory therapist just paied off. right in the middle of a stupid mood worsining rant, my nose gets runny and i get snot, of all things, on my keybaord. insten of sending me that half-an- inch into"open fire" i actualy feel better. i know that this is no fix for my problems, hell if a little snot were the answer to my problems i would be the most in tune, happiest and well adjusted person on the planet, its what i do for a living. sence i feel a slice better i wont look a gift hoarse in the mouth.
posted by Marc at 9:55 AM
4 Comments:
Wow... I didn't know snot could do so much! :)
Marc, you are understandably bitter and rightly so. There are distinct stages one must go through when a marriage is ended. That's why I hope this blog will be so helpful to you. Months from now you can look back and see how far you've come; you will see how you've grown and what you've learned.
Keep at it. We are here supporting you.
i've decided not to take all the rifles up the bell tower. lol i just want to get on with it. i guess i cant rush time or anything else but if i could i would wind that muther up.
ANYONE would be pissed--most alot more than you have been. Seems like you are still trying to be "the nice guy" still worrying about what she thinks, still trying to take care of her and hers, and still being there for her. What if you start dating someone else? Don't you think your catering to S. might be a problem?
i dont want to be her best friend, i know she dosent want to be mine either. i do worry about "hers" but not as much about "her". at least i dont think. i want to be with someone but not her. im not trying to convience myself or anything like that. i really feel ready to go on. when i do i will have to stop dealing with her quit as much. although it dosent seem to have stoped her much. i dont know why she dosent rely on him more but thats her business.
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